Taoism
-Shit happens-

Confucianism
-Confucius say, shit happens-

Zen
-What is the sound of shit happening?-

Buddhism
-If shit happens, it is really shit-

Hinduism
-This shit has happened before-

Islam
-If shit happens, it is the will of Allah-

Protestantism
-Let shit happen to someone else-

Catholicism
-If shit happens, you deserve it-

Agnosticism
-What is all this shit?-

Atheism
-I don’t believe this shit-

Judaism
-Why does this shit happen to us?-

Jehova’s Witness
-Let me tell you why shit happens-

Fundamentalism
-Shit must be born again-

Quaker Mormon
-S— happens-

Unitarian
-Does shit happen? Discussion tonight-

Nihilism
-Who cares if shit happens?-

Existentialism
-Shit doesn’t happen, shit is-

Secular Humanism
-Shit evolves-

Christian Science
-When shit happens, don’t call a doctor, pray-

E.S.T
-I am at cause that shit will not happen-

New Age
-If shit happens, honor and share it-

A.A.
-Deal with shit one day at a time-

Scientology
-Why does shit happen? See Dianetics, p.157-

Transcendental Meditation
-Shit happens Shit happens Shit happens –

Reaganism
-Shit doesn’t happen-