+15°C This is as warm as it gets in Norway, so we’ll start here. People in Spain wear winter-coats and gloves. The Norwegians are out in the sun, getting a tan.

+10°C The French are trying in vain to start their central heating. The Norwegians plant flowers in their gardens.

+5°C Italian cars won’t start. The Norwegians are cruising in cabriolets.

0°C Distilled water freezes. The water in Oslofjord gets a little thicker.

-5°C People in California almost freeze to death. The Norwegians have their final barbecue before winter.

-10°C The Brits start heating their houses. The Norwegians start using long sleeves.

-15°C The Aussies flee from Mallorca. The Norwegians end their Midsummer celebrations. Autumn is here.

-20°C People in Greece die from the cold and disappear from the face of the earth. The Norwegians start drying their laundry indoors.

-30°C Paris start cracking from the cold. The Norwegians stand in line at the hotdog stands.

-50°C Polar bears start evacuating the North Pole. The Norwegian army postpones their winter survival training awaiting real winter weather.

-60°C Santa moves south. The Norwegian army goes out on winter survival training.

-183°C Microbes in food don’t survive. The Norwegian cows complain that the farmers’ hands are cold.

-273°C All atom and subatomic particles movement halts. The Norwegians start saying “Faen, its cold outside today.”

-300°C Hell freezes over, Norway wins the Eurovision Song Contest