PARIS (AFP) – “I sprained my wrist while putting sugar on the strawberries.”

“I am a little hard of hearing so you can understand why I didn’t see the cyclist.”

Herewith a list of some of the best insurance claims compiled by the Insurance Information and Statistics Center (CDIA) in Paris.

— “I admit I went through the intersection without looking to see if anyone was crossing, but I had gone through the same intersection less than an hour before and no one was there.”

— “I am planning to lend my car to someone who doesn’t know how to drive, but beforehand can you please confirm that you’ll pay for the damage he is likely to cause?”

— “You are telling me that according to the civil code I am responsible for my children’s action. If that’s true, the people who wrote that must not have, like me, nine children to watch over.”

— “In place of the intersection they built a roundabout with priority for those coming from the left. Now I didn’t expect that change and I lost control of my car.”

— “While going forward I smashed the rear light of the car in front of me. So I backed up, and in doing so smashed the bumper of the car behind me. That’s when I stepped out of the car, but in doing so I knocked down a bicyclist with my door. That’s all I have to declare for today.”

— “I rammed into a parked car and made sure not to tell the owner that I was responsible. I hope you are satisfied with me and will award me additional bonus points on my insurance.”

— “I smashed into a glass door during an ‘open house’ at the company.”

— “I had a work-related accident while dozing off under an apple tree.”

— “You know my cab has been turned into a hearse and now I only transport dead people. So since my passengers are not at risk, do you think it’s reasonable to make me pay an additional insurance bonus in case they are involved in an accident?”

— “The accident happened while I was changing girls.”

— “While pushing back a dog on a leash, its owner bit me.”

— “I read in my contract that you wouldn’t reimburse me any repairs on my car for damage caused by my driving drunk. I am willing to pay you what it takes to get rid of that clause.”

— “You informed me that there is no such thing as theft between spouses. You obviously don’t know my wife.”

— “I am stunned that you refuse to pay for this accident on grounds that I wasn’t wearing my glasses. I swear the accident wasn’t my fault. I simply didn’t see the bicyclist when I ran him over.”

— “The cyclist kept zigzagging, going right and then left before I could pin him down.”

— “Since her accident, my wife is even worse than before. I hope you will take that into account.”

— “They determined that I had a 2.10 blood alcohol level and plan to convict me. You’ll admit that considering the six to eight litres of blood in our bodies, that wasn’t much.”