1. If you stare at someone long enough, eventually you will get what you want.
2. Don’t go out without ID.
3. Be direct with people; let them know exactly how you feel by pissing in their shoes.
4. Leave room in your schedule for a good nap.
5. Always give people a friendly greeting.
6. When you do something wrong, always take responsibility (as soon as you’re dragged shamefully out from under the bed).
7. If it’s not wet and sloppy, it’s not a real kiss.