The idiot test

1. Do they have a 4th of July in England?
2. How many birthdays does the average man have?
3. Some months have 31 days; how many have 28?
4. A woman gives a beggar 50 cents; the woman is the beggar’s sister, but the beggar is not the woman’s brother. How come?
5. Why can’t a man living in the USA be buried in Canada?
6. How many outs are there in an inning?
7. Is it legal for a man in California to marry his widow’s sister? Why?
8. Two men play five games of checkers. Each man wins the same number of games. There are no ties. Explain this.
9. Divide 30 by 1/2 and add 10. What is the answer?
10. A man builds a house rectangular in shape. All sides have southern exposure. A big bear walks by. What color is the bear? Why?
11. If there are 3 apples and you take away 2, how many do you have?
12. I have two US coins totaling 55 cents. One is not a nickel. What are the two coins?
13. If you have only one match and you walked into a room where there was an oil burner, a kerosene lamp, and a wood burning stove, which one would you light first?
14. How far can a dog run into the woods?
15. A doctor gives you three pills, telling you to take one every half hour. How long would the pills last?
16. A farmer has 17 sheep, and all but 9 die. How many are left?
17. How many animals of each sex did Moses take on the Ark?
18. A clerk in the butcher shop is 5′ 10″ tall. What does he weigh?
19. How many two cent stamps are there in a dozen?
20. What was the President’s name in 1950?

Scoring:

20 Correct – Genius
17 Correct – Above Normal
15 Correct – Normal
8 Correct – Nincompoop
6 Correct – Moron
3 Correct – Idiot

Answers:

1. yes (they also have a 3rd of july, a 2nd of july, etc.)
2. one per year
3. all months have (at least) 28 days
4. the begger is the woman’s sister
5. because he is living
6. 6 (3 per side)
7. no; the man would be dead
8. they are not playing each other
9. 70 (30 divided by 1/2 is 60)
10. white (the bear would be a polar bear because the house must be at the north pole)
11. 2 (you just took 2 apples)
12. a fifty cent piece and a nickle (one is not a nickel, but the other one is)
13. light the match first
14. half way (then he would be running out)
15. one hour (take one, wait half an hour, take another, wait half an hour, then take the last one)
16. 9 (all BUT 9 die)
17. none (Moses was not on the ark)
18. he weighs meat
19. 12
20. Bill Clinton

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