Some facts about Norwegians

+15°C This is as warm as it gets in Norway, so we’ll start here. People in Spain wear winter-coats and gloves. The Norwegians are out in the sun, getting a tan.

+10°C The French are trying in vain to start their central heating. The Norwegians plant flowers in their gardens.

+5°C Italian cars won’t start. The Norwegians are cruising in cabriolets.

0°C Distilled water freezes. The water in Oslofjord gets a little thicker.

-5°C People in California almost freeze to death. The Norwegians have their final barbecue before winter.

-10°C The Brits start heating their houses. The Norwegians start using long sleeves.

-15°C The Aussies flee from Mallorca. The Norwegians end their Midsummer celebrations. Autumn is here.

-20°C People in Greece die from the cold and disappear from the face of the earth. The Norwegians start drying their laundry indoors.

-30°C Paris start cracking from the cold. The Norwegians stand in line at the hotdog stands.

-50°C Polar bears start evacuating the North Pole. The Norwegian army postpones their winter survival training awaiting real winter weather.

-60°C Santa moves south. The Norwegian army goes out on winter survival training.

-183°C Microbes in food don’t survive. The Norwegian cows complain that the farmers’ hands are cold.

-273°C All atom and subatomic particles movement halts. The Norwegians start saying “Faen, its cold outside today.”

-300°C Hell freezes over, Norway wins the Eurovision Song Contest

Norske Tømrer

To norske tømrer står på et stillads, den ene snedker slår et søm i,
smider det næste ud, slår et søm i, smider det næste ud,
slår et søm i, smider det næste ud osv.
Den anden tømrer: “Hvorfor smider du hvert andet søm ud.”
Den første tømrer: “Det er fordi de har hovedet i den forkerte ende.”
Den anden tømrer: “Har du ikke fattet en flyvende fis af det hele de skal bruges på den anden side af huset!”

Norske Snedkere

To norske snedkere står på et stillads, den ene snedker slår et søm i,
smider det næste ud, slår et søm i, smider det næste ud, slår et søm i,
smider det næste ud osv. Den anden snedker:
“Hvorfor smider du hvert andet søm ud.”
Den første snedker: “Det er fordi de har hovedet i den forkerte ende.”
Den anden snedker: “Har du ikke fattet en flyvende fis af det hele de skal bruges på den anden side af huset!”