10. “Is it those Russians again? Call Kaspersky Labs and tell them this time I’m mad!”

9. “The security breach did not involve a security vulnerability in any Microsoft product.”

8. “Steve, if this keeps up I’m going to have to get medieval on you.”

7. “Hmm. Larry Ellison must have found those Post-It Notes with the passwords that I threw in the trash the other day.”

6. It’s not a hack, it’s a feature!”

5. “We’ve got a lot of work to do. We’ve got to make everything simple and reliable. So what are the key elements for this future Internet? Well, extremely high availability, extremely high security, interoperability of all the different systems connected up, the new programming platform that I talked about, and then of course incredible performance to deal with the heavy usage that it’s all going to receive.”

4. “Can I please just have my prune juice without you guys bugging me with bad news first thing in the morning!”

3. “Steve, if this keeps up I’m going to have to pull a Steve Jobs on you.”

2. “Excuse me, I have to go relieve my Nervous Digital System.”

1. “Oh, s – – t.”